Being sure KJ must have had her tiny hand on some key, I asked her to step back (because somehow that would make a difference).
Retry.
"Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!"
"Leave me be everyone" I said.
Into geek mode I went. I've spent the past 20 years as an IT professional and I will be damned if this machine from Dell computers is going to die on me. Hell, I build and architect systems for $20+ billion dollar companies.
Grandpa and KJ went off to play dolls, while I began my job. Diagnosis.
Quick search on Google. Hmmm, someone else on this very same day posted that they also had the exact same issue. The first day their computer work, the second day it beeped 7 times. Ugh.
Checking the bios codes, 7 beeps means the CPU died. Oh crap.
I went on line and engaged the Dell chat line. After a few minutes, the chat window opened and I was engaged. I explained the situation, and even shared what I found on line. That meant nothing to the help desk chat person as it wasn't part of their pre-arranged script.
Knowing full well that my machine was royally hosed and that the binary gods have taken the computers soul, I obligingly did what the mystery chat person said to do. I removed the hard drives, replaced them. I removed the wifi card, and replaced it. I removed the memory, and replaced them. "Try it now sir", the text came across.
"Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!"
Imagine that. So, I asked the chat person if I should start to cry. Humor doesn't translate well. He replied I should call in. I did. Ugh. This begat hours and hours and hours of pain.
After 5 transfers and 72 minutes on line, someone finally said, "You should send the machine back." Really? Well, these people were just doing their job and I knew it. I know plenty about call centers (again, professionally I've designed contact center technical systems). I was told that a new machine would be out right away.
5 days later, a call came in .... the new machine was on its way. Wahoo!!
5 days later, no new machine. Ugh.
Call back in, 30 minutes of hold, guess what, the new machine wasn't on the way. It wasn't even built yet. But don't worry, it will be.
Calls, more calls, more days, more calls. The Dell voice system and auto dialing system really stinks by the way. It would call us, and within 1 ring, hang up!
days turned into weeks. More calls. More being put off.
Okay, now I'm thinking about using my connections and contacting the COO of Dell.
Then a email comes in asking me to provide a survey of my experience with Dell. Ahh, talk about an opportunity. I filled out the form and used words of theft by false advertising, etc.
Well well well .... now the phone rings from a different center. Alas, we still had the 1 ring hang up, but Val called this new number back.
After talking with whomever, we were assured that the new machine would be on its way. I've heard that before.
A few days later, the new machine arrived!! Wahooo! 45 days of saga. Dell had my money, I didn't have a working machine, but now I do.
With shaking fingers, I loaded 1 piece of software that first night. KJ helping as always. Only 1 piece. No more investing time.
The next day, the family gathered around for the big moment. Will this machine work after 1 day? Everyone's chest filled with air, and expectation mounted as I pressed the button.
No beeps!!
Praise the binary digital gods! We have a computer that works more than a day.
But the saga still didn't end.
Dell gave me 10 days to return the non-working one, otherwise they were going to charge us for it too.
After 5 days of proving the new machine worked, Val took the machine to an authorized FedEx center for drop off. Val gave them the machine on a Tuesday.
Wednesday, Val checked. The machine wasn't in FedEx's system. Hmmm.
Thursday, Val checked. The machine wasn't in FedEx's system. Hmmm.
Friday, Val checked. The machine wasn't in FedEx's system. Hmmm.
Call to the authorized center. "Oh, yeah, we have your package here... FedEx hasn't picked it up yet" What?
Not wanting to get stuck into another Dell washing machine cycle, lost into process ambiguity land due to violating the 10 day thing, Saturday we resolved to go pick up the package from the Authorized center and physically take it to a FedEx hub.
According to the voice system at the Authorized center, they would be open at 10AM. So, Saturday morning we headed over to the center to find that they are closed on Saturday.
Sunday Val emails Dell the situation.
Monday, we're now at the 10 day threshold, a Dell rep calls Val and collects our story. They say that they need to see it in the system today, but acknowledged the extenuating circumstances and provisions can be made. Wow. How nice.
Val goes over to the Authorized center and retrieves the package. According to the Authorized centers owner, "The package was in the UPS pile, so neither FedEx or UPS would pick it up." Val's response, "So how is that my fault?" Val and I owned one of these centers for 3 years, so we know the deal. In any case, she got the package, took it to the hub and the damned computer made its way back to its home.
Whew! I feel better now. :)