Dell Hell Drama and Saga - A Working Laptop, Finally

Last November, we made the decision to buy a new laptop for me for the voyage. After sharing the decision, about a week later we went online to Dell computers and ordered a custom built machine. This isn't your daddys machine, this is an i7 with 8 gigs of RAM, 1 TB Harddrive, a separate video driver with 1 gig, an HD screen, Bluray, etc. etc. About 10 days after ordering it, the machine arrived.

That night, our little apartment was energized with excitement and wonder. KJ helped unpack the box, the new machine smell permeated the living room, bits and bytes were flying as software was purchased on line and installed. It was a geeks nirvana ... a glorious night.

As Roman soldiers after a mighty conquest, we headed to bed with computing dreams. Oh, the power!

After returning home from work the next day, KJ asked if we could start the new machine. Why sure. Even grandpa had come over from Alabama and he wanted to see the new digital wonder.

Chest high, chin up, I depressed the on button with my nose of superiority perched high.

"Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!"

Eye brows now dropped down.

"Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!"

Oh f*!k.

"Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!"

Being sure KJ must have had her tiny hand on some key, I asked her to step back (because somehow that would make a difference).

Retry.

"Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!"

"Leave me be everyone" I said.

Into geek mode I went. I've spent the past 20 years as an IT professional and I will be damned if this machine from Dell computers is going to die on me. Hell, I build and architect systems for $20+ billion dollar companies.

Grandpa and KJ went off to play dolls, while I began my job. Diagnosis.

Quick search on Google. Hmmm, someone else on this very same day posted that they also had the exact same issue. The first day their computer work, the second day it beeped 7 times. Ugh.

Checking the bios codes, 7 beeps means the CPU died. Oh crap.

I went on line and engaged the Dell chat line. After a few minutes, the chat window opened and I was engaged. I explained the situation, and even shared what I found on line. That meant nothing to the help desk chat person as it wasn't part of their pre-arranged script.

Knowing full well that my machine was royally hosed and that the binary gods have taken the computers soul, I obligingly did what the mystery chat person said to do. I removed the hard drives, replaced them. I removed the wifi card, and replaced it. I removed the memory, and replaced them. "Try it now sir", the text came across.

"Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!"

Imagine that. So, I asked the chat person if I should start to cry. Humor doesn't translate well. He replied I should call in. I did. Ugh. This begat hours and hours and hours of pain.

After 5 transfers and 72 minutes on line, someone finally said, "You should send the machine back." Really? Well, these people were just doing their job and I knew it. I know plenty about call centers (again, professionally I've designed contact center technical systems). I was told that a new machine would be out right away.

5 days later, a call came in .... the new machine was on its way. Wahoo!!

5 days later, no new machine. Ugh.

Call back in, 30 minutes of hold, guess what, the new machine wasn't on the way. It wasn't even built yet. But don't worry, it will be.

Calls, more calls, more days, more calls. The Dell voice system and auto dialing system really stinks by the way. It would call us, and within 1 ring, hang up!

days turned into weeks. More calls. More being put off.

Okay, now I'm thinking about using my connections and contacting the COO of Dell.

Then a email comes in asking me to provide a survey of my experience with Dell. Ahh, talk about an opportunity. I filled out the form and used words of theft by false advertising, etc.

Well well well .... now the phone rings from a different center. Alas, we still had the 1 ring hang up, but Val called this new number back.

After talking with whomever, we were assured that the new machine would be on its way. I've heard that before.

A few days later, the new machine arrived!! Wahooo! 45 days of saga. Dell had my money, I didn't have a working machine, but now I do.

With shaking fingers, I loaded 1 piece of software that first night. KJ helping as always. Only 1 piece. No more investing time.

The next day, the family gathered around for the big moment. Will this machine work after 1 day? Everyone's chest filled with air, and expectation mounted as I pressed the button.

No beeps!!

Praise the binary digital gods! We have a computer that works more than a day.

But the saga still didn't end.

Dell gave me 10 days to return the non-working one, otherwise they were going to charge us for it too.

After 5 days of proving the new machine worked, Val took the machine to an authorized FedEx center for drop off. Val gave them the machine on a Tuesday.

Wednesday, Val checked. The machine wasn't in FedEx's system. Hmmm.

Thursday, Val checked. The machine wasn't in FedEx's system. Hmmm.

Friday, Val checked. The machine wasn't in FedEx's system. Hmmm.

Call to the authorized center. "Oh, yeah, we have your package here... FedEx hasn't picked it up yet" What?

Not wanting to get stuck into another Dell washing machine cycle, lost into process ambiguity land due to violating the 10 day thing, Saturday we resolved to go pick up the package from the Authorized center and physically take it to a FedEx hub.

According to the voice system at the Authorized center, they would be open at 10AM. So, Saturday morning we headed over to the center to find that they are closed on Saturday.

Sunday Val emails Dell the situation.

Monday, we're now at the 10 day threshold, a Dell rep calls Val and collects our story. They say that they need to see it in the system today, but acknowledged the extenuating circumstances and provisions can be made. Wow. How nice.

Val goes over to the Authorized center and retrieves the package. According to the Authorized centers owner, "The package was in the UPS pile, so neither FedEx or UPS would pick it up." Val's response, "So how is that my fault?" Val and I owned one of these centers for 3 years, so we know the deal. In any case, she got the package, took it to the hub and the damned computer made its way back to its home.

Whew! I feel better now. :)

Wellness Checkups

As you may know, we have two girls. KJ just turned 4 years old and Dy is 18 months. Wednesday we went to the doctor for their wellness checkups. The girls had been feeling fine and received their immunizations like real champs. All was well, until 6:30 pm. Dy started acting different. I picked her up and kissed her head. She was hot! Really hot! I immediately gave her a dose of infant Tylenol, then a dose of infant Motrin to break the fever. It did the trick.

Around midnight, Dy woke up. She was running another high fever (103) and she had vomited. I immediately put her in the shower to cool her body temperature and then give her another dose of Tylenol and Motrin. This brought her fever down substantially, but did not break the fever. Bill and I decided to take her to the emergency room. Fortunately, we live near Children's Hospital. What a GREAT place. Everyone was super nice, even at 1:30 am in the morning. The hospital was quiet, we had missed rush hour by 2 hours. Within 30 minutes of getting to the hospital, Dy had been seen by a PA and our fears had been mitigated. Again, what a GREAT PLACE!!

Bill and I thought that Dy was having a reaction to one of the immunizations that she received on Wednesday, but the experienced staff at Children's said that was highly unlikely. It was much more likely that she picked up a virus, at the doctor's office. So the Wellness Checkup ended with a run to the emergency room. Some wellness checkup.

I'm aware that most people at the doctor's office are there because they are sick. I did take extra precautions by wiping the girls hands with antibacterial wipes several times. Just goes to show that some viruses are very persistent.

It just hurts my heart to see my sweet little girl sick.

No Action Complainers Suck

People who bitch about circumstances in their life (work, personal, or other) and don't do anything about it suck. Shut up! Who cares? I don't and if you really cared, you would change it. Clearly it isn't so bad because you are too lazy to change the situation. If your job sucks, change. Either change your view, your situation at the job, or change the job itself. "Ohh, but I have a family to feed, I can't change my job!" BS. You can. Short of you living in a dictatorship, you can move on. Be creative. There are an infinite number of possibilities. Or, change your mindset. That is the easiest thing to change. Just do it and shut up. All the energy spent bitching could be applied to fixing whatever it is your complaining about. Ahh, I feel better now that I've complained about that.

Seafood Sucks

Something that is not lost on those who know me and know of our plan is that I detest seafood. To them, this is quite bizarre: I'm sailing a boat around the world and I can't stand seafood. For those who don't know me and first learn of my hatred of seafood, they usually ask for a qualification like, do you mean you don't eat this or that? I'm not a bigot, I hate it all ... Lobsters, Crabs, Octopus, Oysters, Shark, whatever. Yes, I've tried it. I've eaten it fresh out the ocean. I've eaten it at world class restaurants (where the chefs are world renown). I've eaten it at local places that "know how to make it." So, to be clear, I've never, ever enjoyed seafood. It is repulsive. Now back to the blog entry.

Firstly, you can sail a boat around the world and not eat one single nasty cockroach of the sea the whole way. Secondly, while I may turn green choking down the nasty nasty, I can eat it if I must. I do plan on taking up spear fishing on this trip so the family can have fresh fish, and maybe, just maybe I can find my way past its grossness. As a Divemaster, I've spent many hours (counted in days, if not years) under the water. I've seen what people would describe as the most amazing lobsters scuttling around on the floor, just ready to be snatched up and eaten. When the opportunity strikes, I will pick up some humongous lobsters for the girls to eat. Again, the mood may strike and I may try again (I try seafood once a year to see if my mind and taste buds have changed).

No Cents!

When you begin to pay close attention to money, you start to see the world a bit differently. One of the interesting outcomes to watching every penny closely is that I see plastered all over the incorrect usage of money symbols. When I see something listed as 0.99¢Holy Crap! That is cheap! That means the item is less than one penny! The ¢ symbol means the unit is cents, not dollars, so there is no need for the "0." 99¢ or ¢99 would be perfectly fine by me. I've gotten to the point that when I see this, if I'm feeling feisty, I put the item on the counter and 1 penny. The ensuing dialog is priceless and provides lots of cheap entertainment (for me at least). I've come back later and see the prices fixed.

Stupid Handwriting

Why do schools continue to teach the art of Scripted Handwriting?

What a dumb, antiquated mode of textual conveyance. Why don't we write in the "Old English" style any more? Because it is inefficient.

Well, talk about inefficiencies. How many hours and hours and hours are poured in by teachers teaching how to write a scripted "L" How dumb.

Think of all the other ways kids could spend their time. Oh wait, therein lies the rub. Teachers would actually have to fill their time with something e-d-u-c-a-t-i-o-n-a-l. Geez.

The skill of "hand eye coordination" and "motor skill" development can be done in many other ways. Why not simply teach kids painting? That would be far superior.

Modern times mean using a damn computer. Not hand scripting writing things. Printing on screen or on paper is just fine. Let's evolve.

Infant-in-arms International Plane Ticket

Bill and I decided to take the girls to Rome in November 2008, for their first international trip. KJ was 3 and Dy was 7 months.

In July 2008, I decided to purchase the plane tickets from Delta; since we were using frequent flyer miles for two of the tickets and Delta has direct flights from Atlanta to Rome.

I had heard that when traveling with an infant internationally that most airlines require the infant to be ticketed and it is usually 10% of the adult’s ticket price. Well my roundtrip ticket price was $1,045 and I expected Dy’s ticket to cost $104.50, 10% right? Wrong!! Dy’s ticket cost $445. The reason Delta gave me was that the 10% is based on the ticket price without fees and that they had to add all of the fuel surcharge, FAA, airport, etc. fees to her ticket, as well. Also, I had to pay the Delta booking fee of $25(at that time) twice. This was because Delta doesn’t allow consumers to book an international flight with infant-in-arms on their web site. You have to call Delta’s reservation center. Since there are two people (Dy and myself) they had to charge me the fee twice, talk about hidden fees and sticker shock. I almost didn’t book the tickets and thought about canceling the trip, but I had already booked the reward tickets.

I'm glad I purchased the tickets when I did. By September 2008, the fuel surcharge and booking fees had doubled.

What I Learned (WIL):

(1) Call and check the base fare and additional fees, first, before booking reward tickets.

(2) If you believe that the fees are going to go up, book your plan tickets as soon as you can.

Damn Right I'm Selfish

What is wrong with being selfish? I don't get it. The reason we are doing this whole trip thing, adjusting our lives, living more simply, and saving money is purely for selfish reasons. It is not because I'm trying to save the planet, or I'm anti-consumerism or anti-technology. No, it is about creating a life that fits my family. It is about taking the ultimate vacation, seeing the world. I don't need an excuse to explain away why we are doing this. It is quite simple, we are doing it because we want to.